The Progressive Love Tenets
When it comes to Progressive Love (PL) it’s not about the relationship structure (i.e. monogamy, polygyny, polygamy, polyandry, polyamory, open relating, single and dating, celibate, married to God, business, friendship, father-mother, co-worker, or whatever.) or who’s involved in the relationship (i.e. heterosexual, gay, lesbian, etc.). Trust me, if anyone cares about the structure of your relationship they’re biased by nature. It means there’s an inherent issue in some aspect of themselves. You create your reality and nothing outside of you has the power in-and-of-itself to break your peace.
Progressive Love is about how you as an individual view the purpose of all of your relationships AND how you function within that purpose. It’s about checking your ego and understanding it’s your greatest asset and greatest liability; thus, the reason for the PL Tenets as a tool only to help check your ego. It’s about empowering you (the individual; thus the union) to continue to grow into your highest potential, which includes supporting others into growing into theirs.
PL is not a religion because only you know what’s going on with you; therefore, only you can be the judge and jury of your actions. No one else has that power even if your projecting others to have it as a way to justify any guilt or shame that you feel. Meaning, your subconscious feelings of guilt vibrate in such a way as to attract people to judge you as a justification for the guilt you feel subconsciously. Only you know what your potential is, what your challenges are, what your talents are, who you truly love and why, what motivates you, and what makes you angry. Only you know the things you wanted yesterday that no longer applies today as you’ve become a totally new person thus the journey begins anew. The most a PL coach Kenya K Stevens or I can do is teach you to see yourself and figure it out for yourself and as much training and practice as we’ve had we will never, ever know you as well as you know yourself. Yes, we may see some things you don’t see that are pertinent in the here and now, but it’s still only 0.00000000001% of who you are. If a coach ever comes off as arrogant or egotistical or like their on a higher level than you in any area of their life (not just coaching you) then you know they’re defunct.
NOTE: If you think Progressive Love is about open relating it means you’re totally missing the point. For those interested in open relating google open relating or polyamory and you’ll find plenty of other sites, information, books, and people to guide you. JujuMama and The Progressive Love Movement are not solely focused on open relating as the only way.
THE PL TENETS
- NO BLAME. If you BLAME other people for your problems (or for your successes) then you are removing the focus from what you really want and desire. Don’t focus on them, focus on your goals, desires, and dreams. What you focus on expands. Blaming others is a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing.
- NO SHAME. If you SHAME yourself then you are saying you’re wrong or bad instead of growing and thus cutting off your God given power. It’s ok, you’re going to misuse your power. It’s part of being human. Shaming yourself is a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing. Shaming yourself is the best way to inflict self-paralysis as it literally eliminates your ability to make anything happen in your life.
- NO VICTIMS. If you claim that you’re a VICTIM then you are acknowledging you are subject to the power and will of others and lack the personal power and fortitude to live the life you desire and affect the world. You have to think about this. When you become a victim you are essentially acknowledging that there are things in life you have no control over. The problem is that your subconscious mind will start to apply that belief to ALL areas of your life (i.e. relationships, finances, etc.) and before you know it 70% of your life is out of your hands and you’re adopting phrases like “Gods will be done.” as a theme (excuse) for what happens around you. Being a victim is a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing.
- NO VILLAINS. If you label others as VILLAINS you are creating the illusion that people are out to get you and do you harm and thus walking in fear as looking over your shoulder becomes a part what you do automatically. This is not true. No one is doing anything to you. Take your power back and all villains fall away. You can change anyone’s behavior in the world by changing your beliefs and behavior first. Creating and giving power to villains is a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing.
- NO DROP OUTS. If you DROP OUT of life then you acknowledge you weren’t given the skills, tools, and ability to manage your life, when the opposite is true. This is your life. If you weren’t here this life wouldn’t exist. It’s your creation and thus you have dominion over it. You can never run from what you’ve created. You are it. Dropping out of life a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing. You aren’t going any where and will still have to deal with everything life throws at you. It will just be from a different angle from before.
- NO COP OUTS. If you COP OUT and settle for mediocrity and just blend in with the masses without following your passion or expressing your talent then you sacrifice your will and become subject to the rulership of others. You become the 99% complaining about the 1%. The only way the 1% can control or influence the 99% is if the 99% is totally ignorant of themselves. It’s math. It’s a waste of your energy and accomplishes nothing and you won’t be any happier.