Are Nagging & Cheating Equally Damaging?

This conversation had on ABC News with Gail and friends had me laughing until I cried.  I realize how very far we have to go to rebuild relationships in America.  I know that we can shift things…

When I process the video, I realize the issue is lack of total understanding of basic gender roles.  Nagging, for instance, is a result of a woman who does not know how to use her feminine energy to get things done in the home and relationship.  Cheating, is a direct result of men not knowing how to assert oneself, and get certain needs and desires taken care of in the relationship or home.  But are nagging and cheating equally damaging?

Yes!  Both nagging and cheating are equally damaging in any relationships.

I explain why below… But let us take a brief look at the gender roles.  Here at the Love Academy we share by way of a branded system we created called Gender Harmonics.  Gender Harmonics is a system that ensures both male and female (in the case of LGBT the masculine one and the feminine one) know their power positions in the relationship.

Masculine and Feminine are equally powerful but differently powered.

Although humans can choose to exhibit both masculine and feminine energy, at will.  It’s best if one person chooses to embody the masculine in the relationship and the other feminine.  Why?

If partners do not have specific duties, responsibilities, and energetic roles/placements in the relationship, communication can become jumbled, misunderstanding ensue, and frustration is the result – hence the manifestation of nagging and/or cheating.

Here are the gender roles as we have charted them here at the Academy:


  • Warrior
  • Monk
  • Leader
  • Negotiator


  • Lover
  • Devotee
  • Visionary
  • Conservationist
[Discover the vast details of each gender role in our books, Change Your Man or Tame Your Woman... or take our class Intro To Gender Harmonics Class for a full scope.  
The gender roles are outlined in our free ebook - Join the Love Academy for your copy!]

Notice the male has external duties, the female has internal duties.  The masculine force is a CEO/COO function of ACTION (Object) whereas the feminine role is the Chief Strategist/Consumer/Visionary or CENTER (Subject).  The roles from masculine to feminine are very different.  There are no real over lapping duties; and when properly initiated, the masculine and feminine fit together like hand and glove, they are compliments.

Why Nagging and Cheating Are Equally Troublesome

Let’s discuss nagging using the Gender Chart above.  In the video the women assert “they just need to know things are getting done”.  I can understand that as women do like to see things get done – and to our liking.  What is the disposition we should approach our male partner with when we want something done?  Furthermore, should we hold to the idea that it must be done to our liking?  Well, that’s a whole other discussion!  giggle…

To the point, should we women ask questions like – did those things get done?  Should we give directives like – DO THOSE THINGS!  Or should we use the Lover energy for example, compliment him on the things he does well?  And how will complimenting him help him get more things done?  Same way a student does better in an environment of encouragement.  Right?  Should we be devoted to the idea that he can and will get it done, in his own time, should we meditate on seeing things get done?  Very few women give these alternatives a try, we have not been taught to wield our feminine power in these amazing ways.

There are so many ways women can be sweet and relaxed, and choose not to nag.  We will go into over 20 techniques in our Master Monogamy 101 course.  But nagging will only push us further away from the very things we think we want in our relationships!

Young Couple Seated Back To Back — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

And for the record:  Men don’t take well to nagging because it is just as damaging to his ego as his cheating is to ours.

So let’s take a look at cheating.  Why would a male in his masculine role need to cheat on his wife?  It is because he has not been trained in this culture, just as women have not, to wield his masculine energy in the relationship.  Any man with real Negotiator energy or Leader energy will make sure he is the FOCAL point for truthful communication.  Currently it is believed that women are the strong communicators.  Actually, it’s men.  I explain that in my book, Change Your Man.

A man trained to be a Leader, Negotiator, Monk and Warrior will not tolerate lies or deceit even from himself!  In like manner, he will not tolerate having his needs or the needs of his wife unmet.  If he is experiencing a need for some specific sensual interaction as medicine.  He will inform his wife, work for solutions, and follow a plan that will work for them both, whether its tantra classes, therapy, coming to JujuMama’s Love Academy for coaching and courses, and even negotiating a more open form of relating.  The key is his diplomacy and deep concern for his Kingdom within the home and family.

Men are not Dogs.  Women are not Nags.

Men are fully capable of stepping into the masculine roles.  Many women feel this is not the case, that men will never do right.  What these women often forget is that our partners will step into the masculine role just as wholeheartedly as we women step into the feminine role.  To the exact same measure as we are Lovers, Conservationists, Devotees, and Visionaries, he will be in his gender placements.  This is the key to understanding the actions of a partner.

I laughed when the comedian in the above video said the wife has to lead and the husband has to just do as she says to make the household work.  We all know this is not the answer.  Most women DO NOT care for men who simply say yes to all her demands and requests.  We enjoy, rather, a man that just doesn’t have to be asked, a man who is in a take charge position in his own reality, right?  But how do we accomplish all this change?

This is why Carl and I created the Love Academy!  You can come for courses on this, deep study and personal and group support!

It’s time to unlock this mystery.  Check more about Gender Harmonics today!

Love and Delight

Kenya K Stevens

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